It felt like the medical staff ran every test known to mankind on me the entire day and through the night. They placed a morphine drip to reduce my back pain, as it turned out, the extreme pain came from spinal fractures.  Yes, you read that right, the doctor told me I had a broken back, and then said, rather politely straight-faced, and calm that I had Multiple Myeloma.

I closed my eyes and I tried to fight back the tears. I asked the doctor to explain the diagnosis to my son because I just couldn’t form the words CANCER. The ER doctor informed my son that Multiple Myeloma is a blood cancer, and that because of it and the back fractures, I was being admitted to the Bone Marrow Unit at the hospital to undergo a back surgery called Kyphoplasty.

Listen… I remember that as the doctor walked out and closed the sliding glass door behind him, my son burst into tears, and I could do nothing more than look at him heartbroken, knowing there wasn’t anything that I could do to console him.

He eventually gathered the strength to tell me he couldn’t come with me any further because the Bone Marrow Unit did not accept visitors due to COVID.  I didn’t think it was possible, but my heart sank even further with the realization that I would have to endure this alone.

As the staff wheeled me away in the hospital bed, I watched my son stand in the middle of the hallway with a look of confusion growing on his face, and that memory will always be something I go back to.

I was so scared. I lied there in disbelief yet helplessly worried about my sons. I knew he had to drive home ALONE with the weight of this heavy news, and he would have to process what had just happened and tell my eldest son, who would also have to bear the weight of it all on top of his absence and helplessness as well. The thoughts, uncertainty, and the fear was overwhelming. My heart was shattered!

As the days passed and the country headed toward mandatory shelter-in-place orders in response to the COVID pandemic, I noticed that my back pain not only continued but worsened, and none of my regular pain management methods lessened it.  My county went to shelter-in-place, and I had to go to the office to pick up my computer.  I drove into the office to pick up my computer in literal tears because the pain was so intense; still, I thought I had only thrown something out in my back.

While working from home, I initially sat at my desk in a computer chair, but every time I got up from my chair, my back pain intensified. I immediately took note of how much different this pain was from the back pain I had experienced; This pain was unbearable. I decided to work from my bed instead to see if the pain would subside, but nope….that didn’t work it either. So, I finally made an appointment with my doctor. 

I dressed in all of my protective and preventive equipment – latex gloves, a head wrap, and an N95 mask and drove to her office. She initially thought I might have suffered a slipped disc, so she ordered an MRI. I got the MRI done the same day, and went back home to await the results, still in ever increasing pain. 

A week, later, she called me for a virtual visit to discuss the MRI findings. I turned on my computer and settled into my bed as comfortably as I could and listened. We exchanged our regular pleasantries first, and then she said, “there are lesions on your spine…” The doctor kept talking, but I kind of zoned out for a few minutes. By the time I came back to that moment, I heard her say she normally sends her patients to MD Anderson, but COVID presented several obstacles to getting into the hospital. She suggested that I wait for word from her on what hospital she could get me into for further testing and asked that I stay put and continue to manage my pain as best I could from home. If, at any point the pain got exceedingly worse, she recommended I go to an ER. 

I sat frozen in place after the call ended. I thought to myself, “What in the world just happened? MD Anderson….that’s the cancer center in Houston, Texas. How did we get from a slipped disc to the cancer center???” I shared this news with my sons and close family members, who by now, had convened to become my caretaking team, but I remained somewhat in shock. Aside from processing the possibility of having cancer on my spine, I also tried to process the entire ordeal within the framework of an uncontrolled, fast-moving viral pandemic. I could not even begin to understand how I would maneuver through it all. 

In the meantime, my doctor sent in prescriptions for strong pain meds, and my mobility became severely limited. This went on through early spring. On April 12^th, I turned 50 years old. My family organized a birthday drive-by to celebrate with me. I sat out on my patio with my two sons, who both had their masks on, and watched my family parade back and forth in front of my apartment. All of my cousins, their children, and my 80-year-old aunt, sang and danced, honked their horns, and waved posters in celebration of this major milestone I’d just reached. It was so funny when my neighbor even joined in the festivities. 

Despite the joy I felt that day, I was still in so much pain. I just recently saw a picture taken of me that day, and I could see the discomfort in my face. I was, and I still am so grateful for my family and that moment, but to look back on it now is eerie. After the parade ended and my family left, my sons helped lift me off of my patio couch and slowly walked me back inside. 

Days went by as I still waited on word from my doctor on what hospital would take me in during a pandemic. The wait was horrific. The pain continued to increase as I became confined to my bed…more than anything, I prayed that something or someone would make the pain stop. I simply could not function. The pain became so intense, I began to hallucinate and replay very vivid dreams every time I’d fall asleep. 

One reoccurring dream involved me living at the top of a multi-level cocoon house with other people. Every day, my housemates and I struggled relentlessly to escape this cocoon house to no avail. We simply could not break free. There were people standing and moving about outside the house, but the house sucked them in, and they joined the ranks of the trapped. For several days, I kept having the same awful dream, and to this day, I don’t understand the significance of the cocoon, the people, or getting trapped, which frustrated me greatly. 

Through all of this, I continued to work during my waking hours. I’d prop my laptop up on my knees as I laid on my back in the bed. During my breaks, I’d log off and go straight to sleep; The pain was utterly exhausting. After my breaks ended, I’d sign back on, and continue to work, and this was the cycle of my days – work, sleep, hurt – up to the day I received the phone call from the case manager requesting additional information.  She asked how long I had been in pain and I replied since March, but it intensified over the past three weeks.  I later received a call from my doctor’s office instructing me to go to the ER of the hospital that would be treating me.

 scoops of plant protein (you can use whatever protein you like)

2 tsp of the green smoothie

8 to 16 oz of plant-based milk (you can use any milk)

3 pitted dates

Add-ins:

1/2 of tsp Maca 

1/2 of tsp Ashwagandha

Blend all ingredients in a high-speed blender and add to a mason jar, glass or whatever you prefer to drink out of.  This is the easiest way to incorporate greens into your diet. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER:  The material being shared is for informational and educational purposes only.  The information is not intended to diagnosis, treat, or serve as medical advice.  As with all health and wellness information, consult your healthcare provider before beginning any treatment or program.  The owner of this website/blog assumes no responsibility or liability for any consequence resulting directly or indirectly from any action or inaction you take based on the information found on this website/blog.

We as humans have a lot on our plates and managing stress may not be a priority.  Chronic stress can disrupt just about every system in our body.  Stress could increase one’s chances of a stroke and heart attack, it speeds up the aging process and it affects your digestive system.  I will share a few tips that could help you reduce your stress.

1.MEDITATION

You do not have to spend hours at a time meditating, I spend at least 15 minutes every morning.  I set the timer on my phone and sit with my eyes closed in silence.  I just free my mind for those 15 minutes and it is so relaxing.  

If you need a guide for meditating, you can look up some meditation apps on YouTube.  I hope you can add meditating to your daily routine because it can help you train your mind to focus and shift your thoughts.  

2.YOGA

It has been said that yoga can help reduce stress and anxiety.  Yoga can also help with flexibility and help improve your balance.  From my experience yoga helped reduce stress on my body from high intense cardio which help raise my cortisol levels.  

3.Breathing exercises

What has helped me reduce my stress are different breathing exercises. I was introduced to several different techniques of breathing by someone who practices holistic health. I sit with my eyes closed and breath in on the count of 4 and hold my breath on the count of 4 and then release through my mouth on the count of 4. I have learned to sit and do this exercise for a few minutes. As I stated above there are several breathing techniques, and you can google or go to YouTube to help find what my work for you.

4.Listen to music

As I maneuver through this space, I find that listening to music helps reduce stress. I can sit for hours listening to some Miles Davis, Thelonious Monk or Leon Bridges. I tend to play gospel music to keep my mind right. Some gospel songs speak to what I’ve experienced as well as what I’m currently experiencing. Each time I was in the hospital, gospel music was on my go-to music list. Create a playlist of your favorite songs/artists and play it when you need to calm down and relax. Music calms my mind and relaxes my soul.

Stress can break down your immune system and it can be detrimental to our health. So, the goal is to be stress free or close to it. The tips above are a few of the ways I relieve my stress and I hope they can help someone relieve stress.

DISCLAIMER: The material being shared is for informational and educational purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnosis, treat, or serve as medical advice. As with all health and wellness information, consult your healthcare provider before beginning any treatment or program. The owner of this website/blog assumes no responsibility or liability for any consequence resulting directly or indirectly from any action or inaction you take based on the information found on this website/blog.